Swamp Man: Friend or Foe?

While my mom and I were driving down the road leading out of our development, we saw a very interesting sight. At first, we weren't sure if our eyes were playing tricks on us, until we both saw a pair of high top sneakers on what appeared to be a moving, man-shaped tuft of grass.

Yes, we saw none other than SWAMP MAN. Clothed in rather dense vegetation (or a very good imitation thereof), he was strolling along the undeveloped fields beside several newly built houses. His gait was more of a meandering stroll than a determined stride, so we assume he was merely enjoying an afternoon jaunt. Perhaps a distant relative of Oscar the Grouch, there was litle else to distinguish him from the surrounding countryside other than his with high tops.

Since the road was an open stretch for about a mile after we sighted Swamp Man, I craned my neck to keep him in my sight for as long as possible. Still, I was unable to glean anything further than whatever he was wearing really did look like some variety of long-stem grass. However, I did note that not only was the texture very lifelike, the coloration of the vegetation was quite convincing. If his get-up was of his own design, I can't help but admire the realistic impression of a grassy knoll he succeeded at creating.

Sadly, when we came back about three hours later, Swamp Man was nowhere to be seen. All we can do now is watch and wait for his return. Swamp Man, whoever you are, whatever your aim, we commend you for flouting convention and throwing caution to the wind. Good luck and watch out for lawnmowers!